I didn't see the entire telecast (frankly, I lost interest somewhere around the time that Beyonce' started singing in French.) And I decided that the Oscars were pretty much a crock around the time Amelie got shafted two years ago. Yeah, I know, silly grudge to hold. But a couple of things...
-Chris Rock didn't do a bad job. I have a feeling most of the reviewers will say he was boring as hell, but I think that's just in comparison to his other work. I mean, if you gave Eddie Murphy or Dave Chappelle the hosting duties but told them that they couldn't cuss, couldn't be sexual and had to have all their jokes reviewed by the network heads beforehand, they'd look bland too. And I'm not singling them all out as black men, but as comedians who make comedic statements with the "no, you didn't" effect. Rock's style hasn't been quite as strong as theirs, but he's made a career by saying the things that no one else had the guts to say about race relations. That didn't necessarily mesh well with the Oscars, who try to leave the controversy to the MTV Music Awards.
- That said, I did like Rock's visit to the Magic Johnson Theatres to talk to "the people". I think it was probably a shock to some of those in the audience that most of Middle Amercia would rather see The Chronicles of Riddick a thousand times than see Million Dollar Baby once.
- Speaking of which. Hilary Swank's dress, frankly, sucked. When you win an Oscar basically for killing yourself in a gym for six months, don't you want the world to see the body you got as a result?
- Didn't see most of the red carpet, but from what I saw, Virginia Madsen had the best dress of the night, with Salma Hayak winning a special award for Best Use of Superior Cleavage. That said, has their been a rule implemented at the Oscars that all the actresses have to wear a sleeveless. tight-to-the-knees dress with a poufy train? Seriously, folks, I know that Nicole Kidman looked lovely in those for the past few years, but you're beginning to make me miss Cher. At least I give Hilary some props for being unique.
- If Renee Zellwegger gets any skinnier, I'm going to start sending her In 'n Out Burger gift certificates.
- I think the tribute to Carson was possibly the best segment of the evening. A classy way to say goodbye to a classy man.
- Speaking of classy (or not so much), I did like Halle Berry's dress and her very proper Oscar presentation. However, I liked her Razzie acceptance speech even more.
- Boy, I would not want to be anywhere in the vicinity of Martin Scorsese right about now.
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2 comments:
Ginny Madsen's got rack. Mmm-hmm.
Speaking of breastisies, Kate Winslet's have totally lost their character since she lost all that weight. Damn you, Sam Mendes.
What happened to Annette Bening's neck? Has Warren been choking her a lot?
Oprah did look fabulous.
On the show this morning, we remarked that Jamie Foxx was in Booty Call. Based on that, and Tom Hanks' unlikely path to Oscar success, we all agreed that Ashton Kutcher will win an Oscar within the next 10 years. And then someone will walk on stage during his speech and yell, "You just got PUNK'D!"
The difference between Kutcher and those guys is that he has shown absolutely no evidence of acting talent to date. Those guys did. It was just hidden under bad material. My money's on Topher Grace.
I'm fairly certain that the skin from Bening's neck has been stretched upward by various plastic surgeries. Speaking of her and Beatty, I heard something about them sharing a table with Bill O'Reilly at the Governor's Ball. Bet that was some fun conversation.
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