My Rare Personal Post

I know that I talk a lot on here about sports and news and TV and cool events and maybe the occasional drink or two. I rarely talk about what I actually do, because beyond work, I don't do that much. Even more rarely, I actually talk about my past beyond an occasional childhood memory. So feel privileged, because today is different.

Exactly 12 years ago today, I got married at the Maury Co. Courthouse by a judge who had to have weighed around 400 lbs. and wheezed his way through the ceremony. I had the worst cold of my entire life, so instead of "I Do", I said "A-Choo!" Afterward, my husband and I treated ourselves to a wedding reception at the Baskin-Robbins down the street.

In the seven years that followed, we had some really rough times. In January of the following year, our son died before birth and I almost died during labor. A few months later, we dumped our full scholarships at our college and moved to Nashville to wait tables and find our new path in life. Another year later, we set off to North Carolina together. In all the moves and jobs and classes and years later, in sickness and health, we shared a lot of laughs and a lot of stories together that I still tell on occasion to shock my coworkers (believe it or not, I was a candy raver at one point. You can stop laughing now.)

Eventually, things didn't work out. It wasn't pretty and it wasn't easy, and we finally divorced after seven years. But through the angst of the breakup and the uncomfortableness of getting used to going back to being best friends instead of husband and wife, we always stayed together. Right after the divorce, I abruptly moved to LA for a "new start" (note to anyone who gets the same idea in the future: moving across the country without a job, without more than two friends in the area, and into the largest city in the US after spending your life in the South is not a good idea.) When I ran for my life a month after arrival after my psycho roommate threatened to throw me out a window (and if you're reading this, you WERE a psycho, and it's nice to actually feel strong enough to say it publically) Fox was the person I called when I was stopped in my car on Ventura, crying so hard that I was throwing up. When he was having his bumps in the road in relationships later, he called me and cried on my shoulder. He's been there when I needed him, and vice versa. Since he's nocturnal, he's my primary source for overnight breaking news - he called me when the levee broke in NOLA, and kept me updated on the chaos while I was in Atlanta the weekend afterward. I now have his partners on my speed dial, and I adore them. It's not perfect - we're very different people, and I'm sure we annoy the hell outta each other. But we're actually able to look back on everything that happened and talk about things and laugh and forgive each other. We value our friendship too much to let other crap get in the way.

So today is our 12th wedding anniversary. Yes, there's a part of me that's sad and a bit lonely, because Fox now lives in California and I miss him and his primary partner a lot. But I'm also happy, because despite it all, I still remember us as the two slightly-nerdy kids (you have to admit, Fox, those orange spandex tennis shorts were funny) who first met at a pre-orientation of our honors program in the summer of 1991. We've both changed a lot, but we've been friends ever since, and that's a gift. So Happy Oops Day, Fox. We might not be in love anymore, but I still love you.

EDIT: One other thing that occured to me in responding to a comment elsewhere - I think that a lot of the reason that we were able to become friends afterward was that we both made it a priority not to lose each other. We've both experienced a lot of loss in our lives, before and after we met. Our marriage began shortly before the loss of Carter, and there were a lot of times where the two of us were literally all we had. Neither of us wanted to lose anymore. So even if we weren't a success at marriage, we've fought to do whatever it takes to keep the friendship going. Not everyone has that sort of motivation, but we were lucky to be in it together. And as he said about me, I don't know what I'd do without him. He's been an example that not everything disappears, and I do always have someone who tells me that he believes in me.

Jesus Christ on a Pogo Stick

You would think that God and his angels came down on a shiny golden cloud, took Peyton Manning off the field tonight and ascended into heaven. Give it a rest, people! The result of the game was more due to the Pats looking like a MASH unit than the Colts unbelievable talent, which was just as unbelievable the past three years when they lost.

And anyone who wants to make fun of Doug Flutie should read his Wikipedia page and/or find last month's SI article about him and his autistic son and then be smacked around Boston Common a few dozen times.

(Just continuing in my tradition of Peyton-hatin', y'all.)

A Lot of Football and a Little Reminiscing

- Good thing about falling asleep with the TV on - You're woken up automatically with a Comcast emergency tone when there's a tornado warning in your area.
Bad thing about falling asleep with the TV on - After you're woken up, you get to turn the channel and get the hell scared outta you by Lisa Patton's weather coverage. Then after it's over, you turn the channel to CNN and start watching the coverage of the Indiana tornadoes and end up dreaming about tornadoes. At least now I have a decent idea of what to do if a tornado hits my church while I'm teaching Sunday School.

I've always had a big fear of tornadoes, growing up in Lawrence County, TN, where severe weather goes to roost. The strongest and most violent tornado to ever be recorded in the state of Tennessee was there in 1998, the same day that the tornadoes hit Downtown Nashville, so no one outside of that area even noticed. Practically everytime there's a thunderstorm in Middle Tennessee, Lawrence County is one of the first to get warnings. A signifigant portion of my childhood was spent in my parents' house's basement, where I was reminded that almost all of my family lives within a 5-mile radius and none of them have storm shelters. Both sets of grandparents, my great-grandfather, and a whole passel of aunts, uncles and cousins would show up. The old folks would be ensconed on the couch, and my dad and my uncles would go outside and look for the funnel cloud. As you can tell, they had a noted lack of concern about their own welfare. After 1998, when my uncle saw the F-5 cross the highway in front of him and then a basement collapsed on one of my mom's teacher colleagues, the hanging out and watching for funnels wasn't quite so informal.

What happened in Indiana pretty much encompassed my biggest childhood fear - a tornado swooping down in the middle of the night and blowing me away. I can't even imagine the sheer hell those folks went through and continue to go through. I'm sending out my love to them.

- I have been asked by a fan of my blog (I didn't know that I had any!) to readdress the subject of Pacman Jones. He's of the belief that players shouldn't be allowed to have a nickname unless you earn it. I do believe he's earned a nickname - the title of "Punkman" that Joe Fisher gave him after his arrest this summer. Moreover, I bet that idea that I had of cutting him and signing Eddie George for the season is sounding pretty damn good to a lot of folks right now. You can say a lot about Eddie's decline in yardage, but he has yet to run into any drug problems. Moreover, with the money saved on Jones' contract and Travis Henry, the Titans might have been able to cobble up enough money for a halfway decent non-rookie cornerback on the free-agent market.

The main thing that the Titans have to realize is that they are doing a really crappy job of finding quality talent in their first-round draft picks. The last truly successful first-rounder we've had was Jevon Kearse (Chris Brown doesn't count, since he has yet to stay healthy longer than half a year.) I'm hopeful that Norm Chow will stick around long enough to bring in a quality replacement for McNair in next year's draft, but we've gotta figure out a way to reduce our cap room enough to sign some vets instead of asking rookies to carry the load every year.

- I think the most karmically classic thing that could ever happen to Terrell Owens is for him to be put on the waiver wire and end up playing for the Texans. Then he can see what playing for a truly crappy team is like.

- So Pete Rose Jr. started selling G to his teammates in Chattanooga so they could "unwind" after games. Isn't that the reason that his dad gave for his gambling addiction?

- Titans are 2-7, Vols are 3-5, and the Preds are in the midst of a losing streak. At least my soccer side is winning.

- Is anyone in the U.S. who's not a news freak paying any attention to the fact that over 200 towns in a major European power are embroiled in racial rioting? Thought so.

- I have a feeling that a lot more criminals would be caught if police hung out at liquor stores more.