3.08.2005

Well screw you too, ESPN

ESPN has ticked me off for the last time. It's bad enough that their radio commentators have become completely obnoxious and unlistenable, but they're getting rid of the two best parts of my day - Kit Hoover and Thea Andrews on Cold Pizza! Don't know if you've ever seen this morning show, but it's a hidden gem on ESPN2. Now it's going to be turned into more blowhard commentary with Skip Bayliss and Woody Paige, who together are the most biggest waste of space on air. Today they even added a scoreboard. Oh please. Are we supposed to tick off how many viewers they're losing per second?

Now my friend Joe Greenlight has come up with the idea to boycott ESPN, and I'm all for it. After all, what exactly are we losing? Except for Pardon the Interruption (which I admit I will really miss) and that unwatchable Around the Horn show before it, there's 10 reruns of SportsCenter a day, a few episodes of that horrible poker drama series, Dream Job (which is almost painfully entertaining) and some after-hours outdoor programming. These guys have yet to acknowledge that there are sports in the world that exist on networks that they don't hold the exclusive rights to, like NASCAR and soccer. Oh, excuse me, Colin Cowherd said on ESPN Radio today that the only places in the world that care about soccer have Sally Struthers shilling for money or worship a queen. So I'm not supposed to care. My mistake.

3.06.2005

An Open Letter

To whomever tried to remove my bumper stickers in the Donelson Y parking lot this afternoon:

I guess you thought you were being clever. After all, you probably disagreed with the sentiment that "My Kids Can't Afford For Me To Vote Republican." (incidentally, I have no living children, but the bumper sticker was on behalf of my future kids...not that you would know this.) And since the election is over, you probably thought you would be helpful and remove my Kerry-Edwards sticker for me, right? Well, forgive me if I don't thank you.

I'm not sure if you care very much about the concept of free speech, but it's something I care very deeply in. And it not only applies to what you write in the newspaper or say on television, but what you put on your car. Personally, there's a lot of bumper stickers that I see in this town that I really don't like. I've seen some pro-war, anti-Arab sentiment that's chapped my craw, so to speak. And I really, really loved those "Don't Be A Girlie-Man - Vote Republican" stickers soooo much the last few weeks of October. But I would never think about touching your car. Because it's your right to put things on there as you see fit, just like it's my right to curse under my breath when I see it. Because I actually believe in the First Amendment for all.

But I do appreciate your help in one way. Since one of my stickers was torn in half thanks to you, I now have to put up a replacement. And you are definitely not going to like it. A couple of weeks ago, a friend of mine pointed me toward this site with Religious Left merchandise. And I'll be sure to pick out the most obnoxiously liberal item on the site, just for you.

Love,
The Girl With the Brown Minivan